Heartaches

HEARTACHES

            We live to love and to be loved. But why there are heartaches in our lives? Why we get lonely and hopeless once we are experiencing this? Isn't it too unfair that out of billions of people, I am the one who faces this kind of problem?

            On our everyday life, we dream to have someone to love us. We dream of a life full of love. A life that when you wake up in the morning, you’ll find a cup of coffee beside you with a love letter. And lives that will make us smile and always feel to be loved. There are times we ask ourselves what is wrong to us. We ask ourselves why we are too unfortunate to have someone to love us.

We even loose our confidence. There are also times we become admirer of death. We sometimes choose to die, than to experience those heartaches of life. Heartaches don’t always mean breaking up with your boyfriend and a girlfriend. We’ve got wrong perception of heartache. Heartache doesn’t exist actually. Heartaches exist on our mind and not in our hearts. We only think that our hearts are broken, but it is definitely wrong. Heartache just comes when we made decisions at the wrong time. When choose to be happy even if it is not right. Heartaches are when we think we are alone. But we are never alone. We are never forgotten by our friends and loved ones. We sometimes focuses on our crushes and boyfriend/girlfriends, but we never thought we still have millions of people who loves us. We never think of them. Can we consider ourselves SELFISH once we do it? 

Moment Of Silence

MOMENT OF SILENCE

            Time may be very unfair to us. Challenges come not during the times when we are too strong; they usually enter our door when we are too weak to face it. I used to sit down in a corner and think of a thing that makes me happy. I always earn a smile from it. I’m wondering if I could still be able to bring it back twenty years from now. Could I still wear that smile and produce those wonderful sounds of laugh trips?

            One afternoon, when I was about to go home from school, I looked at the mountains in front of me. I wonder how high it is. Can I reach the top of it? Or I’d just became wondered of how high those mountains are? It was then that something went inside of me. Something I can’t tell you of what it is. It destructed me from that afternoon till in the late of the night. I can’t put myself on the things that I was about to do. I played the softest music I have. Different thoughts are rushing into the deepest part of my brain. Until those thoughts reached my heart. I think I was slapped by a certain thing.

            I turned off the lights and closed my eyes. I began to set myself free from any destruction. I began to make my mind think of nothing. Then I found myself crying.  I found myself kneeling down into Him, embracing His feet full of blood. I don’t know why I’m embracing His feet, it was like, I’m begging into Him. Then He held his hand into my shoulder and tapped it. It made me cry heavier. I don’t know what He is telling me. But I heard a line coming from Him. “You are my son, you are a sinner but I do forgive you because I love you…” He said, smiling towards me.

            Then my eyes opened, I was shocked with what happened. I can’t utter any word that time. I remain silent for how many minutes. After then, I faced myself in the mirror. It was then that I realized that it is a MOMENT OF SILENCE that I need; a prayerful moment. I am becoming a person full of sin, a person who can’t even make a time to pray and thank Him. I could just remember Him when I’m in a great need. I couldn’t even think of those blessings that comes every day. Instead, I do become doubtful of Him. I always asks Him, “why me?”.

            It was indeed a fantastic reminder. A reminder that made me realized of my entire shortcoming into Him. I became the most unfaithful son. But it isn't still too late. I could still be the best follower I can be. And I can reach the top of the mountains that I saw with Him.